Legacy of the Wizard NES

Oh man...you kids don't know how lucky you are...Back in the day there was no internet and gaming magazines couldnt cover everything...some stuff you had to find out for yourself.  Some stuff you find out...you don't want to find out.  Sometimes a friend of yours is reading the manual at school and the game looks amazing and sometimes you go out to toys "r" us and spend odd job money on a hunk of monkey shit.  That's what happened here.

So that's our start screen-not the worst we've seen on NES so you still think you're getting what's on the cover.

then we choose our character from a family of...uh heroes.  There is Xemn, Meyna, Lyll, Jiela, Douel, and Poochi the family pet...yeah you read that.  What does this family have in common? they were all seemingly named by a dyslexic drunk during Mardi Gras.  

So now we're ready to hit the dungeons in search of four fabled crowns that this family wants for some unknown reason.  But I mean LOOK at this?  Who designs this shit?  We have ladders going to nowhere-dunno who that's supposed to fool.  Did the level designer just have to hit a ladder quote or something?  Why not make this game top down and just make actual real obstacles?  The NES was known for platformers and this game tried real bad to be one.  Usually platformers consist of jumping and attacking.  This game consists of jumping and sucking a log of donkey shit.  What did they learn? Falcom (the maker) learned that American gaming was far different from Japanese gaming.

I mean look at this.  This doesnt even look fun.  The problem here is that not every Japanese game should have made the hop across the pond.  All you japan fans out there who think they always do it better need to take a note...we ONLY get what they get right.  Miserable failures are vaulted and buried.  But this was back in the day when no one really knew what would be a success and what wouldnt.  This game is a failed experiment.  In those days if you grew up in an Asian neighborhood like I did you saw a lot of this kinda shit in the school yard.  After having my money stolen in exchange for this game I avoided any recommendations based solely on seeing manuals in people's backpacks.